Doves & Serpents: For Christians in the Workforce

Part I Self-Restraint > Self-Expression

Photo by Nathan Dumlao on Unsplash | Yes, this relates to the workplace, kinda.

If you spend any amount of time reading evangelical think pieces, you’ve probably heard of Aaron Renn (A.K.A Substacker In Chief.)

If you are not a P.O.O.R. (perpetually online op-ed reader) person like me, Aaron Renn’s claim to fame is the “Negative World” framing of evangelical relations with culture. The idea is that there was a time when being a Christian was culturally advantageous (Positive World.) Then, there was a time where being a Christian was neither helpful nor harmful (Neutral World.) Now, we are in a time when being a Christian is culturally disadvantageous (Negative World.)

In short, being a Christian carries a stigma and set of disadvantages in American culture today. That means that the strategies of yesteryear will not be effective today — and this reality is most pronounced in the workplace.

More than any other area in our society, the workplace has become a cultural minefield for the average Christian, and many pastors are out of touch with this reality. I know this because I was once one of those pastors.

I spent my entire adult life working in Christian non-profits and churches, and segued into the secular workforce at 29. I had no idea just how different the secular workforce was from my conception of it.

The strategies that worked for Christians in positive and neutral world in the workplace are no longer effective in negative world — and pastors who have never experienced this reality will struggle to adequately speak to it. (Much like a Catholic Priest providing marital counsel or parenting advice; how can you provide good tactics when you’ve never seen the front-lines?)

Now that I am a part of the secular workforce, my perspective has shifted. Over the next few weeks, I plan to share the lessons I have learned, as an attempt to bridge the gap between workers and pastors. Each week will contain a mindset shift I’ve experienced since entering the secular workforce, and applications for workers and pastors alike.

Here is the first mindset shift:

Self-restraint > Self-expression.

The highly pious and emotive quasi-charismatic evangelical circles I pastored in consistently prioritized vulnerability and authentic self-expression. Those are great ways to torpedo your career.

This is not to say “become a political and duplicitous person” — that is an even better way to ruin your prospects.

In reality, self-restraint and clinical detachment are superior strategies to playing the earnest fool. This does not require “fakeness” merely wisdom and sobriety of mind.

This approach flies in the face of many of my ecstatic-bapticostal instincts and it’s still uncomfortable. But Scripture is abundantly clear — this is the way of wisdom.

Here are some actionable examples with scriptural support:

A. Restrain your tongue.

I find a sort of “vow of silence” is the wisest policy for workplace relations. By this I mean, always endeavoring to say only that which needs to be said. Idle chatter is foolish.

“When words are many, transgression is not lacking, but whoever restrains his lips is prudent.” - Proverbs 10:15

“Whoever restrains his words has knowledge, and he who has a cool spirit is a man of understanding. Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is deemed intelligent.” - Proverbs 17:27-28

I’m a talkative guy — this has been really challenging for me to apply. But applying it has been of great benefit. The better I get at silence the more I find my stock goes up in the workplace.

If you cannot be silent, avoid idle chatter. If you cannot avoid idle chatter without being rude, change subjects to something work related or work appropriate. Never stir up needless strife.

“Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.” - Colossians 4:6

“It is an honor for a man to keep aloof from strife, but every fool will be quarreling.” - Proverbs 20:3

“If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all.” - Romans 12:18

“But avoid foolish controversies…they are unprofitable and worthless.” - Titus 3:9

I realize this advice seems so commonsensical — yet anyone who perfectly applies it has mastered themselves.

B. Reactivity is the enemy.

I am a very amateur chess player, and have spent all of 2 minutes learning Jiu Jitsu, but both taught me a valuable lesson: if you can get a reaction from your opponent, you can control the outcome. Inversely, if you react out of fear, you have already lost.

I experienced this today when looking to buy a car. I prefer to buy cash, and I don’t like spending a lot of money on depreciating assets. I’m looking for minimum viable options, they won’t breakdown for a while, but no one else wants them for aesthetic or status reasons.

Because I insist on such an arrangement, I often find myself dealing with the used car salesmen on the rough side of town.

I drove an hour to look at a car that seemed to check all my boxes — but once I sat down to make a deal, suddenly the price increased by $3000.

Some sneaky and disingenuous reason was provided for the sudden hike. I started trying to reason with the salesman — when the manager walked over with intimidation tactics.

He raised his voice a bit, and leered at me under his unkempt eyebrows. “Give me a number then” he harrumphed.

I gave him what was a reasonable price for the jalopy in question. (The advertised one.)

He forced a laugh. “You must be out of your mind man!” He faked outrage and started on a tirade.

I stuck my palm out and smiled. “I’m Zach by the way what’s your name?”

He furrowed his bushy brow, shook his head in confusion and grabbed my hand. I gave him the “two-hand-grab” hand shake, and explained how I wanted to make a deal — but didn’t want to waste his time.

Magically the price started dropping. I still walked away— there were a litany of reasons not to trust this operation.

I share that story to point out — he tried to get a fear based reaction and got something unexpected, and that gave me control.

I wish I handled every situation like this, but unfortunately my goad can still be easy to get.

Ideally these analogies — chess, combat sports, and unscrupulous grifters —should not be direct parallels to your workplace. (If they are, get out of there.)

The workplace should be far more collaborative and cooperative than any of those ventures. But there are always power dynamics to be navigated; political minefields to traverse. In the complex world of the modern workplace, diffusing reactivity is essential for maintaining sobriety of mind, wise conduct, and situational control.

In short, self-control and emotional regulation is the path to wisdom in the workplace.

“Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly.” — Proverbs 14:29

“Whoever is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.” — Proverbs 16:32

“If the anger of the ruler rises against you, do not leave your place, for calmness will lay great offenses to rest.” — Ecclesiastes 10:4

C. Don’t let them see you sweat.

“The vexation of a fool is known at once, but the prudent ignores an insult.” -Proverbs 12:16

Modern therapeutic culture encourages the airing of grievances — charismaticism/evangelicalism as therapeutic religion is not dissimilar. We often conflate transparency with honesty; authenticity with character. They are not the same thing.

One who is perturbed and must tell everyone is less self-controlled than the one who is equally upset yet remains poised. Grace under pressure is not a sign of fakeness, but of strength.

A fool’s plight is always known, the wise suffer in quietness. I do not mean “suppress your sorrow.” I do mean “save your sorrow for the quiet place.” Trust Christ your Intercessor to be all-sufficient for your plight; trust the Holy Spirit to be your Comforter in the midst of sorrows.

I have been in evangelical environments that:

• treated anything less than complete and total transparency as deception.

• Forced the continual airing of grievances in relationships.

The reasoning was “accountability” and “conflict resolution.” In forcing people to publicly voice their internal life, they robbed them of the dignity of privacy.

The scriptural command is to be long-suffering and forbearing which is the opposite of being eager to constantly “clear the air.” A merciful spirit is hard to offend, keeps no record of wrongs, and is generous enough to look over a slight, annoyance, or frustration.

Many regrets stem from my shortcomings in this area. For the sake of a twisted sense of “health” I have “cleared the air” on many things that were better left unsaid — and discretion would have generously overlooked.

In short, the wise speak in accordance with wisdom — fools speak in accordance with feelings or compulsions.

Practical applications/areas of reflection:

For Christian workers:

1. Measure your speech — be incredibly precise with what you say. (I’m working on this myself.)

2. If you’re looking for a faith community ask yourself: does this community encourage or discourage sobriety of mind and self-restraint? I mean more than just Sunday sermons, I mean the culture of the community, the habitual practices of the community, and the conduct of the people.

3. Have a quiet place. You’re a human being with real sorrows — go to your Savior and Intercessor. Focus on conducting yourself in wisdom when you are in public — as a holy fool in the prayer closet.

For pastors:

1. What do your liturgies instill? Emotional breakthroughs or sobriety of mind? Do not be surprised if your people reflect your patterns — if you are always going for emotional responses don’t be shocked when your people are flaky and unreliable.

2. Add occupation to your metrics. If your community largely attracts creatives and salesmen not engineers and craftsmen, or vice versa, you may be spiritualizing something which is a personality trait not an actual area of biblical wisdom. If you notice a disproportionate representation of women over men (or vice versa) this too could be an indication of a lack of well-rounded priorities. You want your people to be simultaneously innocent as doves and wise as serpents.

3. Keep tabs on your charges to the church. Is every week a reminder of your need for surrender and pious submission? How frequently do you charge your congregation to be wise? To use their agency? To exert themselves in discipline? Your charges should reflect the diversity of exhortations found in the scripture. (One more reason for verse-by-verse preaching.)