Family Pt.2 | Therapeutic Gospel
The Good News Of Adoption
“No man, after all, lives as an individual completely alone, and the idea of such an individual has no reality to it.” - Lin Yutang
1This article is the third installment of a series “The Therapeutic Gospel.” If you have not read the first article, it is important for context and can be read here. Throughout this series we will be exploring various topics, the first part of this topic can be found here
The prince is torn between two options: vengeance and reconciliation.
After years of pain and hardship brought on by his brothers, they now kneel helpless before him. He could crush them, or toss them into a deep dark pit for the rest of their pitiful lives. He could make a public spectacle of them - humiliating them in front of the entire civilized world.
If he did, no one would impugn his character, after all they had tried to murder him. Too lazy to take his life, they instead profited off of selling him like a piece of cattle.
Years had passed since their betrayal, and despite all odds this slave became the most powerful man in the entire world (with the one exception of the king.)
Conflicted, the prince hangs his head and weeps.
“What you meant for evil, God meant for good.”
With this utterance, Joseph saved not only his brothers - but the entire world.
If anyone had a reason to disown or dissociate from his family it was Joseph, but this single act of forgiveness still ripples through our world millennia after the fact. His sparing of his brothers lead to the building of a nation. That nation lead to God Himself entering human history as the person of Jesus Christ, providing hope of forgiveness to all people everywhere.
The Bible contains in it the most robust and realistic depiction of human families. It does not sugar-coat or minimize the brokenness that so characterizes our family systems, rather it sheds full light on our dysfunctions. Joseph is not the only righteous brother struck down out of jealousy, before him was Abel slain by his brother Cain for his righteousness. Then there was the warring of Ishmael and Isaac, then finally the animosity between Jacob and Esau.
The book of Genesis contains in it stories of betrayal, incest, deceit, adultery, favoritism, failures of parents and much more. This broken and sin-filled family system is the context in which the command to “Honor Thy Father and Mother” is issued.
This makes the Biblical narrative of family totally and utterly unique. Like the Traditional family, it advocates for unconditional honor and respect. Like the Modern family, it recognizes how harmful family systems can be to individual well-being.
These two concepts may seem dissonant with one another, but they are resolved in the doctrine of Adoption.
What is Adoption?
J.I. Packer defines adoption as a status believers receive through Christ meaning that “in…Christ God loves them as He loves His only begotten Son.”2 In other words adoption “takes us into God’s family and fellowship.”3
By receiving the grace of adoption we are brought out of our broken Adamic families into the family of Christ. This is supposed to be more than mere intellectual exercise, but is rather a change of status and location of the person. As established previously (and in the preceding article) for better or worse, you are defined by your family. If you are brought into a perfect family, there is now opportunity for you to be truly made new. This is why Adoption and Regeneration go hand in hand4 — the change of moral status directly coincides with a change of social status. In essence: this places identity in “being hidden with Christ in God”5 and receiving the Paternal blessing (with Christ) “this is my beloved Son in Whom I am Well pleased.”6
In essence: this places identity in being hidden with Christ in God.
Whereas the traditional family places self in fleshly relations, and the modern family places self in internal feelings, the Christian’s identity is “seated in the heavenly places.”7 The pagan world said our identity was outward, the modern world says it is inward, but the Christian view is that the true self is upward.
The pagan world said our identity was outward, the modern world says it is inward, but the Christian view is that the true self is upward.
To really have this doctrine sink down into the heart of the Christian is deeply transforming, and is true spiritual formation (not morbid introspection - more on that in a future article.) When this view truly takes hold of the Christian’s perception of God, it leads to radical life-change and application, most of all in one’s own family.
Application
The primary reason Joseph was able to reconcile with his brothers has to do with where he found his sense of self. He was not merely who he was to them, nor was he how they hurt him. Joseph saw himself in accordance with who he was before God, and saw all of his life accordingly.
He saw his experience of family brokenness as redeemed by God’s providence. The narrative he picked for his life did not reduce the horrors of what they did, instead it expanded on the glory of what God had done.
To believe God is your Father is ultimately an experience of redemption, it does not erase your story but rather gives it new light and meaning. This provides freedom to “Honor Thy Father and Mother” and to even be grateful for your experience of family brokenness. For though it was painful, and the enemy intended it for evil, God in Christ has redeemed your pain and used it for good.
This enables us to engage with our families with a new sense of appreciation and gratitude. Even in the most broken family relationships, while what was done to you may be evil, it does not mean God has failed to be good. One can choose to, in light of the nature of the Father, re-frame their family history through the lens of redemption, and so experience healing.
This new found gratitude for how God has used our family story to shape us for His purpose should also bring with it deeper wisdom. It enables you to follow the counsel of Solomon “Listen, my son, to your father’s instruction and do not forsake your mother’s teaching. They are a garland to grace your head and a chain to adorn your neck.”8
Making New Families
But this doctrine of adoption, calling no one else your Father but God,9 does not stop at how we relate with our parents and siblings, it extends into how we consider building our own family units. Being brought into God’s family means that who we choose to be as spouses and parents ought to be a reflection of the Gospel.10 With regenerated hearts and new self-constructs we, while imperfect, are to build families which more closely reflect the heart of God. This primarily happens by being captivated with God as Father, so in seeing Him as He is, we can be like Him.11 How you act as a parent is a direct reflection of how you see God as your Father.
How you act as a parent is a direct reflection of how you see God as your Father.
An article will be forthcoming on how the Therapeutic Gospel has negatively affected parenting, with more in-depth applications for Christian parents. I also plan to explore many other areas that the Therapeutic Gospel affects such as spirituality, religion, institution building and more.
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Coda
I am fortunate enough to be raised by two incredible parents that I love deeply, however the narrative of the therapeutic gospel (seeing my family as an obstacle to my individuality) prevented me from fully appreciating them. It was only in meaningful consideration of the doctrine of Adoption that I realized my individuality was not opposed to my family, but was in harmony with my relationship with them. It was when I realized God gave me my family so that I might be who I am, that I was able to treat the wisdom of my parents as not an obstacle, but as the path to my self-expression.
If that is not your story, I am deeply sorry. My prayer is that this article is not seen as a condemnation for circumstances which you could not control. Rather, I pray this article is rightly received as an invitation to only allow God to give you your name, define your story, and redeem your hurts.
Thanks to Ben Smitthimedhin for providing this quote. You can find him on Twitter: @jsmitthimedhin
J.I. Packer, Concise Theology, 182.
J.I. Packer, Knowing God, 207.
Ibid.
Col 3:3
Mat 3:17
Eph 5:6
Prov 1:8-9
Matt 23:9
Eph 5:21-33
1 John 3:1-3